The Heart of the Matter, The Crux of the Matter

I'm a thinker, I've always been one. Since I could remember, I never understood why all my thoughts can occur at one time. It gets frustrating. So I began writing. I journaled and wrote stories since I was seven years old. I remember keeping a notebook for all my thoughts and feelings.

Once day, my sister read my diary, and I was livid. She started laughing at the things I wrote, reading aloud line by line, and I felt ashamed. When she saw me cry, she tried to be funny and make me smile. So I was laughing and crying at the same time. I'm sure some of you know the feeling. How could I experience joy in the midst of feeling angry?

God has made us so complex that we cannot even begin to fathom ourselves. Even in a lifetime, there's still so much we learn about who we really are. How much longer will it take to learn about God, the creator of the universe? Science tells us that we are all just a bunch of matter, chemically and perfectly arranged so we may have life. God said, he breathed life into us. Could both be true?

Have you ever heard the idiom, "heart of the matter"? Sometimes in argument, or intense frustration of circling ideas, one would say, "It's about time we get to the heart of the matter." I've always understood the phrase to mean we should look at the most important aspects or central issue. As we know, the heart is a "vital organ" in the human body.

It's funny, another saying (and I don't know which came first) is the "crux of the matter." In English, crux signifies "difficulty" or "puzzle." In latin, crux means "cross." Now that I look at the saying, if we interchange crux and heart, they saying points to one, Jesus. 

The Heart of the Matter

The heart of the matter points to Jesus--the ever living Holy Spirit that lives in me. God is near to my broken heart, and when I fill my heart with him, I'm left with growing faith, yearning for more of Him.

God tells us a lot about our own hearts:

For broken and lost hearts

• He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. -Pslam 147:3
• I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. -Ezekiel 36:26
• Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. -Psalm 51:10

For longing hearts

• Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6
• You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:13

For guarding your heart

• Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. -Proverbs 3:3-4
• For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matthew 6:21
• Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' -Matthew 22:27
• Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. -Proverbs 4:23
• As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. -Proverbs 27:19

 

The Crux of the Matter

The crux of the matter also points to the cross--Jesus. My daughter always asks me, "If God loves me, why does he let bad things happen to me?" This questions often eats a way at many people. Why is a loving God stand by and watch me go through such pain? I often asked this question too. 

Obviously my trauma is mild compared to all kind of pain, suffering, and catastrophic events many people have to deal with. Why does a good, caring God allow for so much evil? The problem lies within the question of "why." 

I more than often realize that when my daughter is experience so much heartache, she's not really asking, why. Rather she is looking for empathy and expressions of love. Instead of trying to prove my point that God exists, I need to really listen to her heart, not her words. She's really saying, "I don't want to feel this anymore, mom." I remember the heart of the matter.

One of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis, who's known for The Chronicles of Narnia books, was once an atheist. In his journey he discovered that the absence of God is the absence of evil. Then everything would be senseless. God and evil co-exist, and without one the other cease to exist. Therefore, I acknowledge that evil exist, but have faith that Jesus overcame it on the cross, reconciling me to God.

Jesus shows us the right way to respond to suffering. Just as He died on the cross, through his pain, he ministered, prayed, and submitted to the Father. God uses my situations of suffering and pain to produce humility, and in the same way respond to others' suffering with humility just as he responds to us. Thus conforming to the image of Jesus and developing a Godly character. 

Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. -Deuteronomy 8:2

 

I try to embrace my suffering and see it as a revelation to what God reveals to me about who I am and who He is. I realized just how he continues to refine me through the hardships. Just as Christ suffered on the cross, he did it in submission and humility, and crowned King of Glory.

The heart of the matter, the crux of the matter--I don't know where these sayings originated from. But now they have another meaning to me. In my fleshly struggles, I will try to recall the heart or crux of the matter, seeking after God's heart, embracing my tribulations, and responding in humility. I find it amazing how the words, heart, crux, vital organ, difficulty, and cross are all used interchangeable to remind me of what needs to be the center of my life. After all, there is no peace without calamity, and there is no matter without a creator. So what point is there dwelling over suffering? Instead, I pray to keep my eyes fixed on the heart and crux of the matter--Jesus.